I am a little moon
orbiting this inflated planet
my life
of pretence
posture
and obligation.

I am a captive moon
caught in the grip of gravity
a false me
of failures
frailties
and expectations.

I am a rebellious moon
tied to the pull of me.
seeking escape,
running away
a dog on a leash.

oh little moon
born from the womb
of truth,
fashioned by the roles
you chose to play
as you chased the spotlight
those false suns
of shallow brightness fading.

I am a lonely moon
cast off from my mother earth
orbiting
removed
and far off.

Gravity is love
I have gravity of my own.
inside this planet of pretending
is the truth of the lies

And we are both caught in the light of a sun
who gently holds us in place
in a solar system of perfection and balance.

I am a held moon,
caught in the grip of love.
never alone,
abandoned
or cast off.

Gravity is love
I have gravity of my own.
inside this planet of pretending
is the truth that lies
at the core of healing

Restless emotions

Where is the answer for
A troubled mind,
That has to fight so hard
The truth to find?
Restless
Emotions.
Endless
Confused.

Where is the peace of mind
To see my life
To finally rise above
This struggling strife?
Nervously
Anxious
Answers
Unknown

To have one day,
To find one hour
To know the way,
I don’t know how.
So restlessly
I will wait for you,
It’s just I don’t know how.

Where is the sleep that flies
In troubled night?
When I awake from dreams
To fading light:
Failing
Devotions
Reckless
Denial

To have one day,
To find one hour
To know the way,
I don’t know how.
So restlessly
I will wait for you,
It’s just I don’t know how.

The north and south

I’m riding a rocking horse
A cranky beast
That won’t keep his course.
I’m sitting on a raging bull
That now seeks to gore me
And never stays still.
I’m walking a restless road,
That trips me with pebbles
Pretending they’re stones
I’m swimming hard against the tide
And I’m fighting the deep,
I’m restless inside.

Sometimes I am up,
Sometimes I am down
Sometimes I can swim
Sometimes I just drown.
Some days I am in
Yesterday I was out
Tomorrow’s confusing
Today is all fear.

I’m driving an ancient car
Rattling and rolling,
I can’t go too far.
I’m sailing a leaky boat,
Her sails are now flapping,
I’m bailing to float.
I’m fighting a lying mind
It spins me it’s secrets
The truth, hard to find
I’m riding a rocking horse
And the internal damn chatter
Is making me hoarse

Two manic lunatics go off on an adventure

Well I woke up this morning
with an empty head,
and deep down inside
something felt dead.

something is missing
but I just couldn't think
and all my emotions
had gone on the blink

i can hear i can see i can touch i can feel
but,
where is my heart, I don't feel real
I can sing I can play i can walk I can stay
but,
where is my mind, has it gone away

so,

I'll write a letter to the editor
I'll blog the internet
I'll try a thousand googles
and see what I will get.
I post a little notice
on the ferry notice board
has anyone seen a straying heart
with his friend, a restless mind

ps: If you see them on the road together, get them to give me a ring. They know my number.
pps: Be careful of them, they can be a touch dishonest and very sensitive.
ppps: They are not armed or dangerous, just reckless

what is that sound?
tiny feet?
running on my roof!
a game?
a dance?
a small stampede?
it's the long lost sound of rain!

It's raining on my island
a gentle water flow
that drops so lightly
falls so free
it's raining here,
at last.

and so the journey comes to this.
alone,
wounded
and home.
this may be the summit of my blind climbing,
with time,
with tears
resigned.
I have been reaching for an answer
whilst lying,
whilst running
in denial.
I have been found, caught out.
now seeing
and regretting
my fleeing.

So I listen to my heart
soothing my broken soul
and I try to hear
gentle words of comfort.

I am home
I am alone
I am waiting
for me to appear.

I am sailing
on a rock that's planted deep.
The earth has gripped her anchors
the shore has hold her keel.
The waters pass so gently
now kissing the higher tide
and waiting for the receding
to lose the sandy side.

I am voyaging
on the liner: "Scotland Isle".
We have cast off from the mainland
to drift in timeless tide.
I will take my watch intently
as a captain of my deck,
I am sailing to my life's blood
and my sails have all been set.

Take me away
as an island refugee
captive to your freedom
shielded from the heat
of the searchings of my troubled soul
as she set her sails in vain.
I am shipwrecked here intentionally,
on this rock to find my peace.

I have hoisted up the mainsail
I have cast off from the quay
my anchor is now high and dry
my course is fine and true.
My compass has aligned my heart
to the passions of night's sky
I am sailing on the "Scotland Isle"
and the sunrise has me bound.

bruised and battered
by my own hands
I try to make sense of this awakening.
the nightmare is real
and it screams at me.
no longer are there gentle beguiling words,
alluring and tempting,
no, a cacophony of insults
hurled at my flight for freedom,
sabotaging my feeble attempts
to return to myself.

my head spins with the memories
my heart aches with the loss
of all that I once knew myself to be.
I now must add these dark visions
to all that I have tried to understand
about myself.

I sit in my old familiar corner.
the piano behind me,
unplayed.
nothing has changed.
the view from the window,
my garden
and the bush beyond
welcome me home
with a few new leaves
and some fresh undergrowth.

Home.
I cannot believe
my insanity,
but I am
home
thank God