Why?

why is their a trapdoor,

that lurks beneath my thoughts.

why?

is there a turmoil

that taunts my desperate hurts

and the exagerrations

in all I think and hide

the petty insinuations

of my troubled mind.

I am twisting,

I am turning,

I am running

and returning

confused and yet certain,

certain and then blind.

this day had so much sunshine

and I skipped through daylight hours,

yet now in the evening

I'm swapping smiles for frowns.

why?

why is there no answer,

just a drawer filled full of pills

that medicate my madness

and quieten my ills.

Rest

the storm has abated
the chaos subdued.
peace returns
to this place
that was so barren and cold.
I will unpack my angry words
neatly folding my struggles
and fears,
and with a bag full of fraility
I will slide this reborn hope into
a pocket full of dreams
and start the journey again

Please excuse the angst,

the grief and the drama.

please excuse my ragings

my poutings, my rage.

for there have been struggles

but within or without

I know not now

or not yet

so please excuse my wrestlings

and my petulant prose.

Tough

Tough,
Hard,
Unyielding,
Stark.
In my little drawer,
With all my soft precious things
Was once a sweet, sweet gentleness.
In my little empty drawer
Filled with dry tears
Are memories
And promises that escaped into the night.
Tough,
Hard,
Unyielding,
Stark.
Am I mad?
Has insanity overtaken me?
Is my heart a deceptive selfishness
And my will a calculating craziness?


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