Grrrrr... greyness descending

life is leaching out of my pores
like sweat on a humid day.
my sense of purpose has sunk
in the mud of yesterdays.
hope? ah, there's a word for the optimists,
but, for me?
I continue to wade knee deep in the consequences
of self imposed disasters
and I just want to
find home,
.. if only i could see clearly
and think with the mind
of my friends.