I'm stuck
and I feel like I am going nowhere.
I'm listless,
immobile, stationary.
I am making a habit
of doing nothing
and nothing leaves me drained.
I am anxious about all that
I cannot control,
trying to read a future
that is far beyond sight.
surely there are answers
but first I need to find the questions.
I'm stuck.
and my mind is still a mutinous beast.
and I feel like I am going nowhere.
I'm listless,
immobile, stationary.
I am making a habit
of doing nothing
and nothing leaves me drained.
I am anxious about all that
I cannot control,
trying to read a future
that is far beyond sight.
surely there are answers
but first I need to find the questions.
I'm stuck.
and my mind is still a mutinous beast.
posted by billy at Wednesday, September 12, 2007
6 Comments:
Sometimes I think I'm stuck, too. But other times I become aware that God may have me in this place for a reason. So I wait it out, hoping the mutinous beast and I can get along and make some headway on who's the captain on this ship. Then I'll look up and see a star leading me somewhere and for a brief fleeting moment I'll have a direction. That happened to me yesterday. Wierd.
Thank you Candy for your honesty, it's so appreciated. My 'mood chart' looks like the Swiss Alps!! Feeling much better today. Hope you are well too.
Well? yes. Now that I have a course charted I'm a little anxious, even frightened. Now it seems I must remember who the Captain is.
to be perfectly honest sometimes I am not sure whether the captain is on the ship or is waiting for me on some rocky reef that will soon see my shipwrecked boat. I think that he has given me the wheel and that it is our destiny to make the decisions, good and bad and he waits for us at the point of our consequences and helps us through the mess
Very interesting. If this is true, and I'm not saying it isn't, then I wonder why I dread the consequences and hate the ones I live with everyday. I do believe he has given us the wheel and that we are destined to make our own decisions - free will, after all. Man, my mind is reeling with this one, going off in a thousand different directions. Thought provoking, billy.
I truly believe that the old image of Jesus standing behind us, holding the wheel of our boat, steering us to calm waters and sunny skies is incorrect. Let me create an another image of us at the wheel and he is both sitting in the boat and waiting for us on the rocky reef that we are bound to shipwreck ourselves on, with supplies and healing ointments to calm our fragile souls. I think that this makes much more sense considering how life is lived. It is also an antidote for the burden of guilt that we constantly live under. In fact it appears that it is on the reefs of brokenness and despair that we learn the greatest lessons about ourselves
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