Goodbye Billy

The darkness is overwhelming.
The night is callous.
My pain, cruel.
My lonliness taunts me in the deepest part
of my guilt and shame.
I did not plan to be here at this stage of my life.
I had dreams, plans and noble ideals.
I was someone.
Now?
I'm not even Billy.

I have no one to turn to.
The crowds have gone elsewhere.
Those who cared have been careless.
Those who encouraged me have seen new visions and
have new challenges.

My work has been burnt, thrown away and forgotten.
I am one of "yesterdays heroes".
I am more than alone.
I am isolated.

I have broken my life.

I am beyond repair.

I want to slide from the stage of life,
without goodbyes or farewells.

But,

the spotlight is still blinding,
and the play continues,
unyielding,
unrelenting,
the director is out,
the producers
have a contract
signed with my blood,
the audience thinks that I am
someone else.
They refuse me to play my own part.
They want me to make them
smile,
sing,
cry,
sing,
sing,
damn the songs.

Whose lines are these?
Who wrote this perverse part?
Did anyone care to look inside my heart
as i gave it away,
so freely.

Alone.
Not Billy.

34,200 Googles.

You can find me anywhere.
But here.

And......

No one is even reading this.

I hope it was all worth it.

Maybe it was simply
"The power of my luck"

It sure doesn't feel like love.

Goodbye Billy

Poor plastic Billy.
Sad little songwriterman.
Pointless,
plastic,
praise.

Bitterly cold now.

Now naked,
alone,
centre stage,
scrutinised,
the audience
screams their prayers
at me.
They stretch forward their hands
in fists.
demanding me to perfrom.
I can't.
My life proved the lyrics
have
failed.

Hello,
is anyone there?

see!
Told you.